Two weeks ago yesterday I sat in a booth with my husband at the Egg and I restaurant. As I looked around me that morning the world seemed so different, I was different, my life had changed forever. This Saturday was the day after losing my dad. You see for many people the passing of a parent is losing someone you saw , and spoke to frequently if not everyday. For me this wasn’t the case.
I lost a parent I hadn’t seen in 12 years.
Some of you won’t understand or relate to that, and some of you may be in the same boat. You know, Time is a funny thing. Time evolves, time changes, time deepens wounds, time grows love, and time makes you think, time is something you can never get back, time is something you hope to have more of.
As much as each of us believes we are the batteries that run the clock of life, we are so wrong. We have no control. We can’t plan or hope for time. And as hard as it is to understand, we must realize that this mysterious life is led by a God who loves so deeply, even when the clocks stop ticking when we deem too soon.
That morning at the Egg and I, I was in a daze that no one, except for the great man who sat across from me and who then and now continuously shows great love understood. In the midst of my daze, I had to remain human enough to proceed on with my order and communicate with the waitress. You see that day was not just mixed up for me, but the restaurant had an extremely busy morning. When ordering my coffee that morning I asked for creamer. When the waitress brought the creamer she apologized that she had to put it in a glass because they were out of the tin they normally put it in. This didn’t matter to me because the creamer was still creamer. Later as she brought my pancakes she apologized again because she had to bring the syrup in the creamer tin because they were now out of what they normally used for syrup. Again it didn’t bother me because it was still syrup.
As I reflected on what was happening that morning, the little things like syrup and creamer Made me realize the irony in the situation. No matter how much time had passed, no matter what problems, my dad was still my dad even if he didn’t fit the traditional role. In this realization, this is where I learned to lean on God and on his plan.
I will never see my dad in this world again, but I know someday we will be reunited. I will someday understand why God separated our journeys. Until then I will lean on God, call on him when my heart breaks, pray for peace, and praise and serve him.
If you are reading this separated by a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a friend, a loved one, I pray that you will ask God for help. He may or may not lead you back to the person, he may or may not give you reasons why, but in the mean time you will grow closer to the only one who can carry you through.
Remember syrup is syrup, no matter what it looks like, or is put into. Make the most of the time He has blessed you with, and never forget you have a Heavenly Father that loves you more than you can imagine.